During the last event I hosted, I have a former classmate always telling me how much she envy me on things that I do and more on the things that I have achieved in life. I was nonchalant about it because I think she was just trying to be nice, I told my best friend about it and she was even shock to hear I didn’t feel the admiration people had on me: the talents, skills, smarts not to mention the fact that I can do these things all these things at the same time. All these time, I often felt that people I care about don’t appreciate the things that I do for them but then I realize the problem is not with them, but lies inside. That I am passionate and yet I am not getting more out of life and I’m slipping things away. It is not what they think but what I think that matters. I should stop worrying about the future, linger on the past and start focusing on being and living the moment.

Worrying is a way of thinking that is like a sting that is just impossible to get rid. Unfortunately girls are mostly the victims to these bad habits especially high achiever ones, well that’s not easy to figure out, now you don’t have to wonder why women who are on the opposite end are much less of a worrier too. However the latter are the types most women don’t wanna be, but then the first one have a higher tendency of self-destruction simply because they are more prone to self-consciousness and anxiety. Whichever side you think you belong, the good news is, you can always control your mind, i.e. your thinking. So how to say hush to your own mind?

Let me share to you some easy steps that I gather to help us live the moment:

1. Breathe! - Every time those negative thoughts and feelings come sinking in, remember to just breathe. Get that oxygen spread in every part of your body.

2. Dance like no one’s watching you. Most of the time, we are too often thinking what might others think of us. Truth is, they are also busy thinking what others think of them too and that includes you. So loosen up!

By reducing self-consciousness, “mindfulness” allows you to witness the passing drama of feelings, social pressures, even of being esteemed or disparaged by others without taking their evaluations personally, explain Richard Ryan and K. W. Brown of the University of Rochester. When you focus on your immediate experience without attaching it to your self-esteem, unpleasant events like social rejection—or your so-called friends making fun of you— things will seem less threatening.

Mindfulness increases self-control; since you’re not getting thrown by threats to your self-esteem, you’re better able to regulate your behavior. That’s the other irony: Inhabiting your own mind more fully has a powerful effect on your interactions with others.

3. It pays to be grateful to EVERYTHING. Notice and appreciate the mundane.  Whether it’s eating a meal, drinking a cup of coffee, eating ice cream, blowing bubbles, listening to music or walking on the road or highway street — elicits happiness and other positive emotions. This simple things makes a huge difference in how you feel and your outlook in life.

4. SMILE! Look at yourself in the mirror and smile, see your face brighten right your very eyes. When you’re feeling down or stress and this is just seem impossible, pull yourself to do it. It can influence how you feel and makes you feel better eventually.

Scientific American Mind magazine reports that making an emotional face influences how we feel.The magazine adds that there is an association in our mind between how we feel and how we react. If we feel happy, we smile. If we smile, it makes us feel happy. Our face communicates our state of mind to others and to ourselves. So smile — it will make you happier and help you appreciate life in the moment.

5. Random acts of kindness. These selfless acts never fails in making you feel good when you make others feel good. They are just that - random. Something spontaneous that could add spice in your everyday life. One of life’s greatest lessons is to do something for someone else without expecting anything in return. It not only helps you live in the moment, but improves that moment for you and someone else.

6. Meditate. Perhaps this is best exercise available mentally, noting that your brain runs 24/7 and yes, even while you sleep. You would appreciate yourself better if you take time to notice the internal processes that keeps you alive. Remember when your grade school teacher first introduces the different body systems, be awed again.

7. Learn how to say “NO”. Sure! Life is an endless possibilities and adventure but sometimes in order to move yourself forward you will need to get rid of excess baggage. Evaluate your current priorities and the reason you’re doing them, if it’s not worth your time then it’s time for you to let it go and move on.

8. STOP OVERTHINKING!!! You only wanted to eat a bar of chocolate but then you find yourself counting calories and how many sessions will you burn them then you find yourself losing an appetite for these sweet treat. I mean c’mon, it’s not like you’ll double your weight after eating it. And the list goes on and on and on and on and on and on and on… JUST PUT A PERIOD ON IT ALREADY!!

In an age of vast distractions, our life’s greatest paradox is that our future lies in our ability to pay attention to the present. Have you ever heard of yourself saying … “It’s great in here! I wanna come back here!!!” The thing is… YOU ARE ALREADY HERE!!! So why wait for tomorrow, when you are not sure if you are still here?! ENJOY IT NOW!!!

At the end of the day, what others might think of you doesn’t really matter but what is most important is doing what makes you happy which includes your thinking, and happiness is always a choice. So what would you choose?